Today our family celebrates a milestone; one almost 30 years in the making, and significant for many reasons.
Doran is now retired. We waited for this for a long time, yet after all the planning, it feels surreal. He worked hard throughout high school, then college and years of grad school to attain his PhD. He spent his professional life working for the government as a scientist, making contributions which will continue after his departure. He is known in his field, has been published numerous times, awarded patents and recognized for his contributions. We couldn’t be prouder of all that he has achieved as a dedicated Federal servant.
As his family, though, we also want to celebrate how he managed a successful career while being an incredible father and husband. Doran grew up in a working class family with little money. Because of that, he learned how to fix things, build things, and be self sufficient. When we needed work done in our home, Doran did it. He remodeled kitchens and baths, designed and built our deck, fixed leaks and appliances….and always tried to include the boys in these endeavors to teach them skills.
When we decided to homeschool starting in grades 4 & 6, Doran became their teacher in math and science. This meant working his full time job (which included going to the gym daily for his health and commuting 40 minutes each way) and then coming home at night and teaching. If you are unfamiliar with homeschooling, and think this is common, it isn’t. While many Dads will be in favor of homeschooling, not many will take on the responsibility of participating as a teacher. He was always patient and loving, despite what surely must have been tiring labor. One of our fondest memories of early homeschooling was our youngest complaining during math class. He said he liked homeschooling, but it was harder than public school. Doran replied, “yes, son. It’s because we love you and won’t let you just slide by.”
Our oldest planned to study science in college, so Doran spent a lot of time teaching him math and science at the college level while in high school. When he went on to college, he proclaimed his freshman year as being very easy since it was all review work. Doran gave so much of himself to our boys spending time with them, engaged with them, every day. I pray that they understand when they are older how truly blessed they were to have a Dad so willing to put his own needs to the side in order to equip them with the skills they would need to be good men.
Finally, I must praise Doran for the patient and loving husband he has been to me for almost 26 years. Both of us came from dysfunctional families carrying baggage which would overwhelm most people. The fact we found each other and broke the cycle of damage can only be because God had this planned. When I was ill, and mostly bed-bound, for 17 months, Doran exemplified everything a loving husband should be to a wife. He patiently cared for me, took on all my roles, managed the house, tended to the needs of our sons, and always treated me with kindness. You would imagine that any spouse would do the same and this is not something worthy of acknowledgment. Sadly, it is not. I was blessed beyond measure with a man who has the compassion of a hundred men, and the patience of Job.
Today is truly the first day of the rest of Doran’s life. We lived frugally for decades and he thoughtfully managed finances to allow us to retire to our beloved Canaan Valley. We are surrounded by nature and beauty and now live in a place where outdoor-Doran can thrive. The number one concern all the retirement seminars Doran attended stressed: boredom is a killer. Have a plan. Doran will not be bored here. There is hiking, biking, cross-country skiing, canoeing, new friends to make and groups to join. He plans to read for pleasure, something put aside during his working years. As a hobby, he also plans to continue to do the science he was working on to help those continuing the research. We also hope to have a home filled with friends and visitors to share our new world.
I’m excited to see what God has in store for us.
Amen.
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I love to read your beautiful stories Sue. God Bless your family… an example to follow.
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Congratulations to you both and may you continue to live in peace and happiness. Your comments about homeschooling were a great encouragement to me. You also inspired me not to take my own husband for granted. I was also comforted by the fact that you both came from dysfunctional families…..as we did too….and also by your thankfulness to have an entirely new life now. It helped me to see God’s faithfulness in a way which sometimes gets lost in day to day life.
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